First Words

There is a little boy named Timmy, who is only 5.
One day, his mom and dad are having a fight and call each other a bitch and a bastard. So Timmy asks, “Dad, whats bitch mean?”
Dad: “Um… well… it is another word for… girl…”
Timmy: “Mom, what does bastard mean?”
Mom: “Err… another word for… guy…”
Timmy: “Oh, ok.”

Later, Timmy was trying to go to sleep, and he heard is parents in the other room, having sex:
“PUT YOUR PENIS IN MY VAGINA, DAMNIT!”
So in the morning, Timmy asked his mom and dad, what penis and vagina meant.
“Umm… a penis is a hat… and a vagina… is a coat…”
“Oh, ok.”

Then, his dad cut himself while he was shaving, and yelled, “SHIT!”. Timmy asked him what that meant, and his dad said, “Oh its a… type of shaving cream…”
“Oh, ok.”

And while his mom was cutting some vegetables, she accidentally cut a bit of her finger, and yelled, “FUCK!”. So Timmy asked what that meant.
“It means… to cut something…”
“Oh, ok.”

Then his parents were having a party and Timmy was at the door letting the guests in.
“Welcome, Bitches and Bastards! May I take your penises and vaginas? My parents will be here in a minute. My dad is upstairs, using some shit to shave with, and my mom is in the backyard fucking a tree!”

URL: link Added over 3 years ago by http://chubbthehippo.myopenid.com/
Tags: first words timmy funny lol penis vagina bitch bastard fuck shit kid party haha chubbthehippo

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