This guy walks into a bar with his pet octopus

This guy walks into a bar with his pet octopus. They sit down at the bar and order a drink.

The bartender asks, “say, what’s with the octopus?”

“He’s a very special octopus,” the man says, “he can play any instrument you give him.”

“Bullshit,” says the bartender.

“No bullshit. Go ahead, hand him anything.”

The bartender walks away and returns with a trumpet. The octopus looks at the trumpet for a moment, then picks it up and starts playing. The bartender is blown away.

“Wow! That’s amazing,” he says. “Hold on I’ll be right back.”

The bartender goes in the back for a moment while other customers start to crowd around to see what the ruckus is all about. The bartender comes back with a guitar.

“Here, play this,” he says to the octopus. Without hesitation, the octopus starts playing. Like the trumpet, he’s amazing, and everyone starts clapping.

A man from the crowd walks up and places bagpipes on the bar. The man says rather sternly, “I’ll bet you $100 he can’t play bagpipes.”

“You’re on,” says the owner. He takes the guitar from the octopus and says, “go on, play it.” The octopus just sits there, staring at the instrument.

“Well, what are you waiting for, play it!”

“Play it?” the octopus says. “Shit, if I can get it’s pajamas off, I’m gonna fuck it.”

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Tags: nsfw dirty octopus walks into a bar instruments bagpipes bet

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