A man comes across a bottle in the sand at the beach. It is unopened and so he decides to dust it off to see if it is Coke or Pepsi thinking, “Yay! Free drink.” The bottle’s top explodes off, dousing him in what was apparently coke, and a genie pops out.
“I will grant you three wishes!”, it says, “But for every wish I grant you, your wife will get double of that!”
Guy: “You asshat.”
Genie: “Huh?”
Guy: “Nevermind” wrings out his shirt
Seeing as his wife had recently cheated on, he wasn’t as warm to this proposal as the average husband would be. But hey, genies are always ghey like that. He decided to try the three wishes.
“Alright, well, first off, I would like about 10 million in euros to just appear in my account without arousing any suspicion and by legal means… now.”
Genie is like, “Hmm… a smart one. Alright, your wish is granted. Your wife now has 20 million as well.”
“Alright, now I wish to have my own two private bodyguards who will always protect me no matter what. They have to be human and trained in MMA. Congenial, smart, and happy to be here you know? No crap.”
“Sure.”, says the genie as his bodyguards appear beside him in a puff of smoke, “Your wife now has four bodyguards.”
“Sweet. Now, for my last wish, I wish for these guys, for this one time ONLY, to beat me half to death.”
| Look! Kittens! | 115/36 | 14 |
| dock | 27/117 | 15 |
| Skydiving | 55/64 | 51 |
| yo moma | 60/90 | 23 |
| yo moma | 27/108 | 24 |
| Mama Joke | 43/84 | 16 |
| the 3 kids and the genie | 153/34 | 19 |
| healthcare the way it should be | 28/71 | 19 |
| If Michael Jackson were a fish...... | 49/164 | 70 |
| The Hippie and the Nun | 132/13 | 26 |
| 6 was scared of 7... | 57/114 | 20 |
| The REAL Jaws! | 152/34 | 14 |
| your mom & god | 54/67 | 61 |
| Yo Mama | 68/57 | 18 |
| Lake Love | 85/44 | 20 |
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