Newspaper headline

Once there was a man whose name was Arty. Arty was a hitman, but was very bad at his job. one day his boss called him in for a meeting. “Arty,”he said,”you have not been very good for us, and i think it is time for you to leave.” He was going to fire Arty. But the young, inexperienced mercenary begged his boss to give him just one more job. “I’ll even do it for a dollar, a simple dollar!” he said. So, upon hearing his wishes, his boss gave him a picture of a man and told Arti that he was his new victim. Arti, being Arti, was thrilled to have another job.
The next day, Arti just happened to run across his victim, and began to stalk him. Unfortunately for Arti, the man went into a Schnucks, which he followed him into. for a long time, the hitman followed his victim as he put food items in his cart. finally, the man entered an aisle that had no one it it, and Arti made a move.
He reached for his gun, but- he must have left it at home! he did not have it! of course, this is never good for a mercenary. Arti was left with only one choice: choking the man to death. so that he did, but right as he finished, another man had entered the aisle, and Arti was forced to choke him, too. by that time, a third man had run off and alerted the manager who had called the police, who had come and arrested Arti.
The next day, the paper came out, broadcasting Arti’s crime. Arti himself was pleased because he got the frontpage story. but little did he know that very little people read his tragic story because, accidenly, the headline read;
“Artichokes Two For a Dollar at Schnucks”

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Tags: police Schnucks gun weapon money job crime mercenary

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